Well, obviously the good news, but I'll say the bad first anyway.
On Saturday morning, my mom accused me of staring at her through my fringe. That apparently inflamed her hatred for me, causing her to -- goddam, this sounds so scientific. I guess I've just been groomed that way. She took the kitchen scissors and grabbed me by my fringe, pulling me towards her with the intention of chopping it off. I pushed her away. I mean, in a situation like this, someone's first instinct is to push them away, right? I don't know. Finally she let got of me and nearly stabbed me with the scissors, saying, "You're really big now aren't you? You can kill your mother now right?"
I didn't want to kill her, no matter how much I hate her. I threw the scissors away on the floor and said. "No, I'm not going to kill you."
She screamed at me for lying, and that all I wanted to do was to run away. Not true. All I want to do is to be loved for who I am, and be accepted. I didn't want to be changed. I didn't want to be beautiful. I don't want to be chopped down, me, something perfect, in the process of making myself beautiful. I'm beautiful the way I am.
-_- FROM WHAT I SAW.... YOU SORTA DID GLARE AT MUM. AND YOU'RE PRETTY DAMN DEFIANT NOW. GEEZ. JUST LEARN WHEN TO BACK OFF FROM FIGHTS YOU CAN'T WIN.
She screamed at me with harsh words, and she blamed me for pushing her. I don't know. If someone was holding a sharp object and trying to hurt you, you would push them away. You would distance yourself.
I don't know. The moment when her face, it was so etched with anger. It was etched with the pleasure at my hurt. It remains burned in my brain, and it's hurting me every single second. I wish I could wipe it all away. I wish I could. I loosing sleep over this.
But good news though, I'm meeting my sister tomorrow. We're not related by blood, but we love each other so much we call each other sisters. She's helped me through so much, including what was just described. I'm so excited, and I'm really looking forwards to it. I don't know what I'll do though.
Monday, 27 February 2012
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Random thoughts in complete randomness of a completely insane and random person.
I kind of noticed that most killjoys on the my chem website are getting ass hurt over a few trolls maybe, as well as not winning some competitions.
You asses, re-LAX. It's a competition, and you gave it your best shot. Stop fucking ranting about how you're supposed to have won. In our eyes, all our answers are always good enough. Our answers will always be the perfect ones. OUR response is always correct and the best, no matter how wrong it is.You are all really childish to have gotten butthurt over not winning that Phant-O-Matic, okay? My Chem organises a motherfucking competition so that their fans will be happy. THEY, I am sure, certainly didn't want their fans to be hurt over not being able to win. They are the ones that selected the entry that would win, so why are you getting hurt over it? Accept the fact that your answer probably wasn't good enough and move on, because other than that, all you can do is sulk about it, bitch about it, fuck a horse about it. Nothing you can do will ever make you the winner of the competition, no matter how many times you dream of it, no matter how many times you want to murder the person over and over and over, no matter how many morbid thoughts you have on killing and mutilating the winner. SHE was chosen to be the winner, and there's absolutely nothing, NOTHING, you can do about it. So STOP being a pain in the ass and move on. Lots of chances await you, so you have to keep trying. Don't just sit there and expect things to happen.
I've also noticed that the killjoys are quarreling over who should win and who shouldn't. WELL EXCUSE ME, you might call it sibling rivalry, but I wish. I really wish that we could be a family again. Killjoys, I'm fighting a motherfucking losing battle here. I can't win if I'm flying solo. We need to be a big family again. We need to love each other like we did before. What happened? People hate us, because there's too much drama here! I agree with them. Some people have been quarrelling over the issue of "new" fans and "old" fans. Apparently, they say, old fans are the best of fans while new fans just want to be fans because My Chemical Romance is now mainstream. Yeah right. YEAH RIGHT. Fans will be fans, tumbleweeds, and as long as they love MCR for their world-changing records and albums, not just like "OHMYGODIWANTTOFUCKGERARDUNDERTHEMISLTETOE" or something along those lines then please, accept them for who they are! We are all outcasts here, and in my opinion the my chem website, the facebook page, even the MCRmy twitter accounts, are where we are accepted. Where we can belong. AND you guys, the supposed loving and caring older ones, are ousting them out! You are ostracizing them! What happened to the one big family?
Also that thing about the old MCR and the new MCR. Killjoys, there will be old material and new material, but MCR will be MCR and that will never ever change. NEVER. The message they've been sending 7 years ago is the same that they're sending now: "Be yourself, never be a second-rate copy of someone else because you are unique and no one can ever replace you." They are sending the same message, except through different sounds: Bullets and Revenge were very dark and what fits the stereotype of emo, Black Parade was spunky and theatrical, and Danger Days is futuristic and loving. Can't you see that? Patients have left the MCRmy because "oh, the new album is too happy." What kind of fucking reason is that? MCR has and always will be my hero, because they send the same message with every song they produce; be it Our Lady of Sorrows or Vampires Will Never Hurt You or Sing or Party Poison. They are the same message in a different form! It's like eating chocolate ice cream and eating chocolate ice cream CAKE.
You asses, re-LAX. It's a competition, and you gave it your best shot. Stop fucking ranting about how you're supposed to have won. In our eyes, all our answers are always good enough. Our answers will always be the perfect ones. OUR response is always correct and the best, no matter how wrong it is.You are all really childish to have gotten butthurt over not winning that Phant-O-Matic, okay? My Chem organises a motherfucking competition so that their fans will be happy. THEY, I am sure, certainly didn't want their fans to be hurt over not being able to win. They are the ones that selected the entry that would win, so why are you getting hurt over it? Accept the fact that your answer probably wasn't good enough and move on, because other than that, all you can do is sulk about it, bitch about it, fuck a horse about it. Nothing you can do will ever make you the winner of the competition, no matter how many times you dream of it, no matter how many times you want to murder the person over and over and over, no matter how many morbid thoughts you have on killing and mutilating the winner. SHE was chosen to be the winner, and there's absolutely nothing, NOTHING, you can do about it. So STOP being a pain in the ass and move on. Lots of chances await you, so you have to keep trying. Don't just sit there and expect things to happen.
I've also noticed that the killjoys are quarreling over who should win and who shouldn't. WELL EXCUSE ME, you might call it sibling rivalry, but I wish. I really wish that we could be a family again. Killjoys, I'm fighting a motherfucking losing battle here. I can't win if I'm flying solo. We need to be a big family again. We need to love each other like we did before. What happened? People hate us, because there's too much drama here! I agree with them. Some people have been quarrelling over the issue of "new" fans and "old" fans. Apparently, they say, old fans are the best of fans while new fans just want to be fans because My Chemical Romance is now mainstream. Yeah right. YEAH RIGHT. Fans will be fans, tumbleweeds, and as long as they love MCR for their world-changing records and albums, not just like "OHMYGODIWANTTOFUCKGERARDUNDERTHEMISLTETOE" or something along those lines then please, accept them for who they are! We are all outcasts here, and in my opinion the my chem website, the facebook page, even the MCRmy twitter accounts, are where we are accepted. Where we can belong. AND you guys, the supposed loving and caring older ones, are ousting them out! You are ostracizing them! What happened to the one big family?
Also that thing about the old MCR and the new MCR. Killjoys, there will be old material and new material, but MCR will be MCR and that will never ever change. NEVER. The message they've been sending 7 years ago is the same that they're sending now: "Be yourself, never be a second-rate copy of someone else because you are unique and no one can ever replace you." They are sending the same message, except through different sounds: Bullets and Revenge were very dark and what fits the stereotype of emo, Black Parade was spunky and theatrical, and Danger Days is futuristic and loving. Can't you see that? Patients have left the MCRmy because "oh, the new album is too happy." What kind of fucking reason is that? MCR has and always will be my hero, because they send the same message with every song they produce; be it Our Lady of Sorrows or Vampires Will Never Hurt You or Sing or Party Poison. They are the same message in a different form! It's like eating chocolate ice cream and eating chocolate ice cream CAKE.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Finally, a meaningful post where I don't rant negative things!
So since I'm really bored, I've decided to come up with a list of what is my top ten favourite lyrics and why. Everybody wants to know the why. Yes, yes you do.
Starting with 10! This is from the song My Immortal by Evanescence. "There's just too much that time cannot erase." These lyrics have helped me through rough patches in my early fandom, when I started to "go bad", as my mom would say. There's a lot of depth in these lyrics, because the emotional scars inflicted on me in my early fandom still remain. Only death, I fear, can take away these scars.
9! This is from Zero Percent by MCR. "Oh, my magazine is full of ugly things!" These pretty much defeated the purpose of magazine publishers publishing stereotypes in their material. Models in magazines are supposedly "beautiful", anorexic bitches. Since when did a skin-and-bone model become prettier and hotter than someone like Marilyn Monroe!? This really took the pressure off me to look REALLY skinny and so-called pretty.
8! From Sing, MCR. "Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind." This really evokes pity for the handicapped people, how they're not able to do things that most of us can do, for example, see where they're going. We should never ever look down on these people because you have absolutely no idea what they've gone through.
7! From NaNaNa, MCR. "Everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world but no one, no one wants to die" Of course it's true that no one wants to die! Even in your darkest of moments, there's always a glimmer of hope, giving what I call "Pandora's principle".
6! From The Kids From Yesterday, MCR. "You only hear the music when your heart begins to break." My heart, is broken. Nuff said.
5! From Our Lady of Sorrows, MCR. "Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying." Does it, my blog readers? Does it? Think about it.
4! From Summertime, MCR. "And carry all this broken bone, through the six years down in crowded rooms, and highways I called home." When we meet that one person that we truly love, and who truly loves us, they would help us, support us, even though we're so broken on the inside. Even though we may have run away, even though we lost everything we once had.
3! From Sing again. "Generation nothing. nothing but a dead scene, product of a white dream." Isn't everything around us so monochrome now? It's so black and white it nearly hurts. Most of us have lost our colours, our life, our vibrancy. We ARE, and becoming quickly, generation nothing, a product of a white dream.
2! From 21 guns, Green Day. "Does the pain weigh out the pride, and you look for a place to hide." We all have our egoes, and no matter how grand and furious they are, they are egoes after all, and will hurt our hearts once in a while.
Finally, 1! What, no drumroll? Whatever. From Welcome To The Black Parade, MCR. "And though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on." Those are the sweetest words I have ever heard a son say to his father.
Starting with 10! This is from the song My Immortal by Evanescence. "There's just too much that time cannot erase." These lyrics have helped me through rough patches in my early fandom, when I started to "go bad", as my mom would say. There's a lot of depth in these lyrics, because the emotional scars inflicted on me in my early fandom still remain. Only death, I fear, can take away these scars.
9! This is from Zero Percent by MCR. "Oh, my magazine is full of ugly things!" These pretty much defeated the purpose of magazine publishers publishing stereotypes in their material. Models in magazines are supposedly "beautiful", anorexic bitches. Since when did a skin-and-bone model become prettier and hotter than someone like Marilyn Monroe!? This really took the pressure off me to look REALLY skinny and so-called pretty.
8! From Sing, MCR. "Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind." This really evokes pity for the handicapped people, how they're not able to do things that most of us can do, for example, see where they're going. We should never ever look down on these people because you have absolutely no idea what they've gone through.
7! From NaNaNa, MCR. "Everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world but no one, no one wants to die" Of course it's true that no one wants to die! Even in your darkest of moments, there's always a glimmer of hope, giving what I call "Pandora's principle".
6! From The Kids From Yesterday, MCR. "You only hear the music when your heart begins to break." My heart, is broken. Nuff said.
5! From Our Lady of Sorrows, MCR. "Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying." Does it, my blog readers? Does it? Think about it.
4! From Summertime, MCR. "And carry all this broken bone, through the six years down in crowded rooms, and highways I called home." When we meet that one person that we truly love, and who truly loves us, they would help us, support us, even though we're so broken on the inside. Even though we may have run away, even though we lost everything we once had.
3! From Sing again. "Generation nothing. nothing but a dead scene, product of a white dream." Isn't everything around us so monochrome now? It's so black and white it nearly hurts. Most of us have lost our colours, our life, our vibrancy. We ARE, and becoming quickly, generation nothing, a product of a white dream.
2! From 21 guns, Green Day. "Does the pain weigh out the pride, and you look for a place to hide." We all have our egoes, and no matter how grand and furious they are, they are egoes after all, and will hurt our hearts once in a while.
Finally, 1! What, no drumroll? Whatever. From Welcome To The Black Parade, MCR. "And though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on." Those are the sweetest words I have ever heard a son say to his father.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Uh-huh. So I've been away. And your point is...?
And what's been happening in the meantime? Well, I can say that I've tied up most of my loose ends, my dad's tried to kill me many times over, school is boring, cookies are nice and the list goes on. BUT! Most important. I finally got the courage to contact Gerard via email, and he's replied :) Sad to say after about 6 emails we're still arguing about hyperventilation.
He's bleached his hair, and I want to dye mine pink. For a day. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT YOU KNOW I'M INSANE. Anyway I asked him for hair dye-ing tips since he's dyed it so many times *w*
I've found out that the people on twitter really are nicer than the people on facebook, but that doesn't change the fact that they ARE part of the MCRmy, part of my family.
I guess it's just the fact that lots of people on the facebook page are really sketchy, and that just really gets on my nerves whenever I talk to them. It's like, sex this, sex that, sex all over the place. We are better than that, I know we are.
My parents have found out I'm talking to "devils" and want me to stop. I think if I carry on with this they'd call the exorcist lol.
I've gone past the depression, and I'm glad to say three weeks off the pills and cuts! Yay! Hopefully I can keep this up so I don't ruin my life any further. I've also gotten a slant fringe thing. It's quite nice, and I look lots better in it. Vritika23 on twitter is now my big sister. So is fuckyeahbandit.
If I get good enough results on my mid-year this time round I'll be getting a dog. I want a husky, and I'll name it Nightlocke. Thank you Rue, for being such an awesome friend. Good luck wherever you go, whatever you do, because the love of the MCRmy is with you. I hope to see you again one day.
<3,
BB
He's bleached his hair, and I want to dye mine pink. For a day. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT YOU KNOW I'M INSANE. Anyway I asked him for hair dye-ing tips since he's dyed it so many times *w*
I've found out that the people on twitter really are nicer than the people on facebook, but that doesn't change the fact that they ARE part of the MCRmy, part of my family.
I guess it's just the fact that lots of people on the facebook page are really sketchy, and that just really gets on my nerves whenever I talk to them. It's like, sex this, sex that, sex all over the place. We are better than that, I know we are.
My parents have found out I'm talking to "devils" and want me to stop. I think if I carry on with this they'd call the exorcist lol.
I've gone past the depression, and I'm glad to say three weeks off the pills and cuts! Yay! Hopefully I can keep this up so I don't ruin my life any further. I've also gotten a slant fringe thing. It's quite nice, and I look lots better in it. Vritika23 on twitter is now my big sister. So is fuckyeahbandit.
If I get good enough results on my mid-year this time round I'll be getting a dog. I want a husky, and I'll name it Nightlocke. Thank you Rue, for being such an awesome friend. Good luck wherever you go, whatever you do, because the love of the MCRmy is with you. I hope to see you again one day.
<3,
BB
Monday, 5 December 2011
Just about every guy I cross stares at my ass. And they're at least 50 years older than I am.
I mean, seriously! And my mom bought a pair of shorts (and they can't even be qualified as shorts, more like underwear) with flower prints on my ass. Honestly, fuck the hell off and go stare at your own wife. Don't stare at me. I'm 50 years younger, so go home and be jealous. DO NOT EVER SHOW IT IN FRONT OF ME.
Also this thing about my mom always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, coming upstairs, yelling at me for doing BIOLOGY (Well sorry if the human urinary system and its parts don't agree with you, mom) then going downstairs, still yelling at me, and then later in the afternoon telling me to fucking strip myself and go parade outside. Seriously, if you desire that kind of thing THAT MUCH, go do it yourself. Also about telling me to be a prostitute. Please, I thought you wanted me to be a fucking doctor.
And I'm so sorry for everyone who tried to keep me away from it. I really couldn't. And so I've officially broke my streak, and after the scars heal, I'll start from day 1. I know this will never be enough to say how sorry I am because I'm such a fucked up person. And it's not like I don't have people out there carrying a small portion of my enormous burden, trying their level best to lighten that burden. It's not like I don't have people praying for me. It's not like I don't have people always telling me not to cut, always checking the inside of my left wrist. But left to my own devices, with such an emotion at the time, I'm really, really, really sorry, Killjoys. I know a simple sorry will never do, and I'm sorry to have shattered your rainbow-splattered/black little hearts.
I've done it again, and I have to reset the timer, go back to day 1.
I really love you guys, and I want you to know that. I just couldn't take it anymore, and it was so innocent, just sitting by itself over there... I only remember standing up, and then there was blood in the sink. And on the blade. It made me dizzy for a while, and I don't remember what happened after that, only that I staunched the flow of blood, went back upstairs, got yelled at a little more, and then went back to physics. And no one noticed.
I want to thank everyone who's been here for me, and I want to ask of you guys one more thing.
Please, bear with me and help me. I'm trying, I really am, but numbers meant nothing once the first incision was made. Thank you all for your encouragement, and I pray and hope you guys will not give up on me.
#Killjoyoff,
BB
Also this thing about my mom always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, coming upstairs, yelling at me for doing BIOLOGY (Well sorry if the human urinary system and its parts don't agree with you, mom) then going downstairs, still yelling at me, and then later in the afternoon telling me to fucking strip myself and go parade outside. Seriously, if you desire that kind of thing THAT MUCH, go do it yourself. Also about telling me to be a prostitute. Please, I thought you wanted me to be a fucking doctor.
And I'm so sorry for everyone who tried to keep me away from it. I really couldn't. And so I've officially broke my streak, and after the scars heal, I'll start from day 1. I know this will never be enough to say how sorry I am because I'm such a fucked up person. And it's not like I don't have people out there carrying a small portion of my enormous burden, trying their level best to lighten that burden. It's not like I don't have people praying for me. It's not like I don't have people always telling me not to cut, always checking the inside of my left wrist. But left to my own devices, with such an emotion at the time, I'm really, really, really sorry, Killjoys. I know a simple sorry will never do, and I'm sorry to have shattered your rainbow-splattered/black little hearts.
I've done it again, and I have to reset the timer, go back to day 1.
I really love you guys, and I want you to know that. I just couldn't take it anymore, and it was so innocent, just sitting by itself over there... I only remember standing up, and then there was blood in the sink. And on the blade. It made me dizzy for a while, and I don't remember what happened after that, only that I staunched the flow of blood, went back upstairs, got yelled at a little more, and then went back to physics. And no one noticed.
I want to thank everyone who's been here for me, and I want to ask of you guys one more thing.
Please, bear with me and help me. I'm trying, I really am, but numbers meant nothing once the first incision was made. Thank you all for your encouragement, and I pray and hope you guys will not give up on me.
#Killjoyoff,
BB
Thursday, 1 December 2011
I think my biological clock needs some batteries...
Seriously! I mean, it's gone WAY past the date, and I don't know, I've just been kind of waiting for it, just to prove that I AM normal. Fucking morons.
I wish SO HARD that humans have oestrogenic cycles instead of menstrual cycles, so nature doesn't fucking give us a fucking gift every fucking month. I hate nature's inequalities.
Damn you. Damn you all.
Isn't it like, better for all of us girls not to lose blood but instead absorb it back? I mean, lots of mammals do it. We're the "unique" ones.
Fucking moron.
And another thing. What the fuck is it with humans and their obsession with the sickest part of the human body? I mean, I was on the fucking train, and I was standing near the door, leaning on this thin plastic-glass thing. Of course, when it's thin, you can fucking feel that something is fucking pushing against it. I turned back and guess what I saw?
This MAN, was putting his fucking HAND on my ass area.
GODDAMN PEDOPHILES.
I wish SO HARD that humans have oestrogenic cycles instead of menstrual cycles, so nature doesn't fucking give us a fucking gift every fucking month. I hate nature's inequalities.
Damn you. Damn you all.
Isn't it like, better for all of us girls not to lose blood but instead absorb it back? I mean, lots of mammals do it. We're the "unique" ones.
Fucking moron.
And another thing. What the fuck is it with humans and their obsession with the sickest part of the human body? I mean, I was on the fucking train, and I was standing near the door, leaning on this thin plastic-glass thing. Of course, when it's thin, you can fucking feel that something is fucking pushing against it. I turned back and guess what I saw?
This MAN, was putting his fucking HAND on my ass area.
GODDAMN PEDOPHILES.
Monday, 28 November 2011
You know, the fact that a celebrity might be reading this is rather horrifying.
The thought just came, and I thought I'd might like to write it down somewhere.
Also kind of creepy that the person you will eventually meet and settle down with is walking the earth right now, and maybe you've bumped into him/her on the street, maybe you've talked to him/her before and maybe you like him/her. The very prospect is rather creepy. Well, amazing, but creepy.
Also the prospect that the celebrities *coughmcrcough* I'm writing a fanfic about right now might be reading this post, and then going on to read my fanfic which I am going to post on my other blog, is kind of creepy, not to mention weird. And to allay your fears, my darling rock stars, there is no Waycest or Frerard, and definitely no Frikey. I respect your privacy, I really do. I'm a straight person. Frank, go ahead, say it with me: Homophobia is Gay.
Also most people might be dead in the end.
I know for a fact that my character's mom is dead.
I think I'm going to kill her dad off as well.
Interesting plot points much.
I'm also going to break up with my "boyfriend". (He calls me his girlfriend, but honestly, I think he's just that pathetic.) Everytime I see him he just drags me into a room and tries to have sex with me. Seriously, dude, get a grip.
Also, he's three years older than I am, and that makes him 17. OMFGeezy. I've decided that this first impression of what is so-called love is not entire THAT good, and therefore I'm dumping it.
No hard feelings, really, but I wonder how the guy will take it.
Also, I'll be damned if another of this kind of guys pops up.
*sighs*
I really should be posting some fanfic. I'm working on it. Might meet a writer's block halfway and trash the whole thing, but hey, it's gonna be fun anyway.
I'll have to get the prologue from the MCR website first, so nothing's here yet.
Now, a lovely poem for you all, it's my contribution to the "Not Alone, All Together" project.
You are Not Alone
Death.
Despair.
Seems familiar?
Disorientated.
Desperate.
You search uselessly for a way out.
Darkness boils within.
A bright angel, demolished.
Death beckons to you with a crooked finger.
The knife, it seems so tempting.
The gun, so innocent.
All it needs is a small movement of a suicidal muscle.
But stop.
There is hope in the darkness, a light,
The green exit sign entices you to a world of colour
From under his cowl, Death hisses in defiance.
But he can do no more than watch you go.
Pale hands steady your shaking feet
Walking out, tasting freedom so sweet
Ignore their teasing and raucous laughter
Your antagonistic reaction is what they're after
Shine your way out of fear
Hold on to hope that is so dear
Once you leave the monochrome behind
Happiness and colour is all you'll find
Five words, fallen angel, comes the voice from the phone
I cannot emphasize enough -- You are not alone.
Also kind of creepy that the person you will eventually meet and settle down with is walking the earth right now, and maybe you've bumped into him/her on the street, maybe you've talked to him/her before and maybe you like him/her. The very prospect is rather creepy. Well, amazing, but creepy.
Also the prospect that the celebrities *coughmcrcough* I'm writing a fanfic about right now might be reading this post, and then going on to read my fanfic which I am going to post on my other blog, is kind of creepy, not to mention weird. And to allay your fears, my darling rock stars, there is no Waycest or Frerard, and definitely no Frikey. I respect your privacy, I really do. I'm a straight person. Frank, go ahead, say it with me: Homophobia is Gay.
Also most people might be dead in the end.
I know for a fact that my character's mom is dead.
I think I'm going to kill her dad off as well.
Interesting plot points much.
I'm also going to break up with my "boyfriend". (He calls me his girlfriend, but honestly, I think he's just that pathetic.) Everytime I see him he just drags me into a room and tries to have sex with me. Seriously, dude, get a grip.
Also, he's three years older than I am, and that makes him 17. OMFGeezy. I've decided that this first impression of what is so-called love is not entire THAT good, and therefore I'm dumping it.
No hard feelings, really, but I wonder how the guy will take it.
Also, I'll be damned if another of this kind of guys pops up.
*sighs*
I really should be posting some fanfic. I'm working on it. Might meet a writer's block halfway and trash the whole thing, but hey, it's gonna be fun anyway.
I'll have to get the prologue from the MCR website first, so nothing's here yet.
Now, a lovely poem for you all, it's my contribution to the "Not Alone, All Together" project.
You are Not Alone
Death.
Despair.
Seems familiar?
Disorientated.
Desperate.
You search uselessly for a way out.
Darkness boils within.
A bright angel, demolished.
Death beckons to you with a crooked finger.
The knife, it seems so tempting.
The gun, so innocent.
All it needs is a small movement of a suicidal muscle.
But stop.
There is hope in the darkness, a light,
The green exit sign entices you to a world of colour
From under his cowl, Death hisses in defiance.
But he can do no more than watch you go.
Pale hands steady your shaking feet
Walking out, tasting freedom so sweet
Ignore their teasing and raucous laughter
Your antagonistic reaction is what they're after
Shine your way out of fear
Hold on to hope that is so dear
Once you leave the monochrome behind
Happiness and colour is all you'll find
Five words, fallen angel, comes the voice from the phone
I cannot emphasize enough -- You are not alone.
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