Well, obviously the good news, but I'll say the bad first anyway.
On Saturday morning, my mom accused me of staring at her through my fringe. That apparently inflamed her hatred for me, causing her to -- goddam, this sounds so scientific. I guess I've just been groomed that way. She took the kitchen scissors and grabbed me by my fringe, pulling me towards her with the intention of chopping it off. I pushed her away. I mean, in a situation like this, someone's first instinct is to push them away, right? I don't know. Finally she let got of me and nearly stabbed me with the scissors, saying, "You're really big now aren't you? You can kill your mother now right?"
I didn't want to kill her, no matter how much I hate her. I threw the scissors away on the floor and said. "No, I'm not going to kill you."
She screamed at me for lying, and that all I wanted to do was to run away. Not true. All I want to do is to be loved for who I am, and be accepted. I didn't want to be changed. I didn't want to be beautiful. I don't want to be chopped down, me, something perfect, in the process of making myself beautiful. I'm beautiful the way I am.
-_- FROM WHAT I SAW.... YOU SORTA DID GLARE AT MUM. AND YOU'RE PRETTY DAMN DEFIANT NOW. GEEZ. JUST LEARN WHEN TO BACK OFF FROM FIGHTS YOU CAN'T WIN.
She screamed at me with harsh words, and she blamed me for pushing her. I don't know. If someone was holding a sharp object and trying to hurt you, you would push them away. You would distance yourself.
I don't know. The moment when her face, it was so etched with anger. It was etched with the pleasure at my hurt. It remains burned in my brain, and it's hurting me every single second. I wish I could wipe it all away. I wish I could. I loosing sleep over this.
But good news though, I'm meeting my sister tomorrow. We're not related by blood, but we love each other so much we call each other sisters. She's helped me through so much, including what was just described. I'm so excited, and I'm really looking forwards to it. I don't know what I'll do though.